Hillbilly Jesus

I owned a country gift store in my past life. When we first started out, I worked the cash register and played "store" everday. It was Christmastime as I had two obviously country ladies stop in. They had heavey southern accents. As I listen to their conversation I realized they weren't the sharpest tools in the shed. I did the tourist thing and asked where they were from. I wasn't suprised when the quickly said southern Arkansas. My sterotype was quickly proven as one woman picks up a box of holiday cards adorned with a Victorian period Santa Claus and as she looks at the cards says, " Hey, look at these cards with Jesus on em!" the other quickly stated, " That ain't Jesus you dumb Shit, that's Santa Claus." I have often wondered if that sentence had ever been used before.

Life just flies by...

It is my mom's birthday today and I think it will be a hard one for her. You see it is her 57th Birthday. That age is significant in our lives. My grandma was one of the most unique, bluntly out-spoken, caring, genuine, family and community minded people that I have ever known. Her life was taken away from us in a year long, devastating death death due to pancreatic cancer. I remember the day she died. I sat on the curb in the small hometown I grew up in with my mother on one side and my aunt on the other. We cried and we laughed. We were so sad and yet we were so happy that she didn't face another day of such pain and agony. She didn't know me that day, and I so hate that. I went on a 3 day school trip and when I returned she died. I remember her sister slowly pushing her eyelids shut and it was over. As we sat on the curb, we watched as the funeral home wheeled her out covered with a velvet blue cloth and strapped to the gurney. I can hear the sounds and relive the feelings. You see it was the end of a lot for our family. Things were never the same. It was 20 years ago this summer. My mom was the same age I am now and my grandmother was 57. Today is July 21, 2007 and it is now my mother's 57th birthday. I can't imagine losing my mother that young. I think of all we have done in the years since her death . I have some regrets but, oh she would have loved the grand kids and now great grand kids that she never met. I probably won't give my parents a grandchild. Sometimes that makes me sad. When it makes me the saddest is when I realize how much they love me and how much my grandparents loved me. Life just flies by...

Solient Green Is People, It is People!

So, I went to this party yesterday and I ended up staying all night due to that fact that I had consumed too much alcohol. I wasn't planning on drinking all that much because I had a few last night and it is unusual for me to get drunk two nights in a row. As I was floating on my raft the lake, I was listening to the conversations and watching the other guests at the party. All of the sudden the late SNL comedian Phil Hartman came in my mind. I absolutely loved that man and his incredible talent. His was a life cut way too short. The reason he came to mind was the fact that I was surrounded by people that are such complete characters. Phil could have easily imitated any of them and the audience would have went wild. It just made me realize that the world really is a melting pot of all varieties of human beings. I suppose that it does take all kinds. I appreciate my surroundings. I have felt like I have wanted to bail and make another move to be anonymous again. When I moved here that is what I thought I would do and I just realized that I am making friends that all have such a broad spectrum of backgrounds and lifestyles. I am so glad t0 have met them. When life gets frustrating and you just want to quit and run, the weirdest thing can put things in perspective. For me, it is people! Thanks Phil Hartman. You said it best Solient Green is people, IT IS PEOPLE!

I NEED TO PASS OUT...

Addictive is all I can say! I just can't stop writing. This the best that I have felt emotionally in a long time. I feel like this is a great outlet for my thoughts. My immediate response when I have thoughts and feelings is to pick up the phone and call my ex-wife. I just can't let go, I guess. I know I still rely on her and she absolutely relies on me and uses me as a sounding board for her new relationship with my best friend. I still have so many thoughts running through my head and so many memories that I don't want to let go. Do you really have to let them go? They were such good times. Last week a co-worker told a friend that she thought I was confused. I can't seem to get that out of my mind. I feel secure in my sexuality and am confident in myself but a part of me feels lost. Stupid? I seem to attract drama and instability and those things are the complete opposite of what I want. I am drunk, we just hit the peace pipe hard and Tyler just stumbled out of my apartment and left. Feel like I am a whore! I am arguing with one guy and trying to dump him and I just had sweaty, intense but safe sex with a little frat boy. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! It is 1:30am, I need to pass out...

Diversity Rocks!

I have visited 47 of the 50 states, Canada and Mexico in my life and have come to have certain spots that I feel right at home. If I want sun, roller coasters and nightlife, there is nothing better than a trip to Orlando. Hit all the regular spots and then hit Pleasure Island for comedy clubs, good drinks, great food and some hotties on the dance floor. If I want to be in the snow and ski, snowmobile and sit out in the hot tub in a snow storm I would head to Frisco, Colorado. Great resorts, good laid back people and fun on the slopes and trails. If I want to appreciate the arts and culture there is nothing better than Times Square, Tavern on the Green or Carnegie Deli and a good play. If I want great shopping and dining, I hit Michigan Avenue in Chicago. If I feel like stepping back in time, appreciating nature at it's finest and smoking up, I would hop on the ferry to Vancouver, British Columbia. Go to Blunt Brothers Cafe, smoke some weed, eat some munchies and blend in to the open-mindedness of Canada. With all of that said, my favorite place in the world is Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I guess what I am trying to say is that I feel like I am well traveled. I am not bragging just trying to express how serious I am. Eureka Springs, Arkansas is getting such a bad wrap right now and I am pissed. If you don't know, Eureka Springs is a quaint, artsy town nestled in the Ozark Mountains of northern Arkansas. It's beauty far outreaches the pristine lakes, rivers and mountains that surround it. The town has recently adopted a domestic partnership registry and is lax on it stance on marijuana possession. It's beauty is the people, their open-mindedness, their ideas, their courage and their relaxed way of going about life. When you go to Eureka you see normal people going about their everyday life. It is a life of tourists from all over the world, it is shopping, it is dining, it is golfing, it is nature, it is entertainment. For Pete's Sake, it has Christ himself overlooking a world famous play of his life. It has whites, blacks and all of the other colors, it has gays, straights and all of the other orientations, you can drink if you want, if you smoke marijuana you won't be judged but if you don't it simply doesn't matter. You can be young, you can be old or you can just be. You people that are complaining, judging, criticizing...DON'T GO THERE! In this world you have a choice I would never criticize yours so why do you find it necessary to criticize theirs? So if you are ever in Eureka Springs...have a reuben, eat some fudge, take some pictures, get a massage, spend some money, meet some incredible people and chill the fuck out! Diversity Rocks!

Orange shoes are in this year!

OMG! We have a little hottie that works with us. Actually, the only young, good looking guy that works in the building. The two girls that work in my office and I were looking at pictures on the internet when he walked in the door. He is nothing short of HOT! But, yes there is a but, he has big elf ears. It is odd. Speaking of butts his is pretty nice too. I have always thought that he was just a metro-sexual but today it was evident to the three of us that there is someting else going on there. When he came in our office he saw us looking at My Space and Face Book pages. He basically pushed Becky out of the way to open up his Face Book account to show us his pictures. I went back to my desk and twice he made me get up and come look at pictures of him. Now I am not just talking about normal snapshots, I am talking about HOT pictures. Becky and Pat were right beside him and yet he made me get up and come look at his ripped abs and nice package. I just don't get it?? We were going to just let it go but then he came back in again to talk to me. then I walked across the sales floor he stopped me again. I don't know what to think. As I am writing this the girls are sitting here telling me that although they would both like to get in his pants, they think he might fit in better with those of us who stay under the rainbow. Judging by the Armani shoes he was wearing today, he certainly likes primary colors. Did you know that orange shoes are in this year?

Are you playing with the Harry Potter again?

I just had a quick lunch with one of my best friends and she abruptly tells me that she is going to a movie with a former co-worker. Let me tell you about this co-worker...She just moved here from Portland, Oregon. That's right, I said Portland, Oregon. I heard she was from Oregon. Yes, the west coast. I think that she said she was from Oregon. Portland, I think! She dressed inappropriately in the work place and showed us all her fatty boobs and rolls that would make cinnabon jealous. Did I say that she was a chef from the Portland area? And man can she make a mean portion cup full of Alfredo Sauce. Oh, and she is a broadway singer, an author, an illustrator, a survivalist and apparently NOT a sinner! Things must be different where she grew up. Did I mention that she was from Oregon? Well anyway, I guess it is okay that they go see the new Harry Potter movie together. Gosh, I sure hope my friend doesn't start liking her better than me. I just don't know what I would do...